Quick recap: Last week was Kids’ Week on Jeopardy!. While nothing on the level of Leonard and his amazing Teen Tournament performance took place, there was some controversy. See, on Wednesday’s episode, a 12-year-old named Thomas Hurley wrote “The Emanciptation Proclamation” for his Final Jeopardy response, which, while basically correct, contained an extra “t” in emancipation. Because of this minor misspelling, Trebek and the judges ruled his response incorrect. Now people are pissed, including young Thomas, who used some strong language to voice his displeasure:

“I was pretty upset that I was cheated out of the final Jeopardy! question. It was just a spelling error,” said the Newtown Middle School student, who won $2,000 as the second runner-up.

I’m so torn on this. On one hand, he did get the answer wrong, if you want to be super technical about it. Yes, Alex Trebek and the judges clearly knew what he meant, but I can see why they’d want to draw a hard line on spelling, because there are situations where it makes a big difference (desert/dessert) and it’s easier to have a strictly enforced black-and-white rule than to make a fuzzy judgment call each time. And it’s not like it would have affected the game in any way even if the judges gave it to him, because the contestant to his right, Skyler, had almost four times his score going into Final Jeopardy, bet huge anyway, and nailed it, finishing with over $60,000. So, for the most part, no harm, no foul.

But. On the other hand, I love — love love love — that there’s a junior high student in Connecticut who is apparently willing to call a beloved, long-running syndicated game show’s integrity into question over a spelling mistake. LOVE. Trebek hung him out to dry by saying his answer was misspelled “badly” (which, I mean, come on), and then forced him to stand there at the end of the show during the credits while he was fighting back tears, so if young Thomas wants to go to the mattresses with him on this one, I’m on board. Trebek pulls a knife, we’ll pull a gun. He sends one of ours to the hospital, we’ll send one of his to the morgue, etc.

LET’S TEAR THIS WHOLE CORRUPT SYSTEM DOWN. EXTRA T’S FOR EVERTYONE.

(Via TV Guide)

That sound you heard yesterday evening, while you were eating your frozen dinner? That was A Tribe Called Trebek dropping the mic, letting the world know he’s coming for ya. During last night’s Jeopardy, Canada’s greatest MC rapped lyrics from the Notorious B.I.G., Beastie Boys, Grandmaster Flash, Dr. Dre, and Public Enemy, before dropping one of his own: “Well, my name is MC Alex and I’m here to say, I love to rap in a major way.”

Look out, Drake.

Conan has been making a fool out of Alex Trebek regularly since last year in a segment called “Alex Trebek Has Gone Insane.” It’s pretty hilarious and reminds me of the time a younger Coco got his hands on the Walker Texas Ranger lever and went to town against Chuck Norris. This is the latest in the series and the most likely the final.

Much like the ending to the Walker skits, Conan ends up getting a taste of his own medicine at the hands of his victim when Trebek shows up in person and puts an end to the charade. The only difference this time is that Trebek doesn’t resort to physical violence to put an end to Conan’s shenanigans.

I prefer the crazy Trebek myself. He speaks a language that I can understand and would be great at parties. So please, stop taking your meds Trebek. Maybe you’ll end up slapping Ken Jennings or referring to Arthur Chu as “Art Dog” on the air.

(Via Team Coco)

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Jeopardy! celebrated its 50th birthday this week. That’s 50 years of Daily Doubles, 50 years of awkward small talk with the contestants and 50 years of blurting out nonsense answers at home. (Don’t act like you’re not guilty of it. Whom among us doesn’t love taking a wild guess about Babylonian architecture?)

When you have a rotating lineup of people testing their trivia chops each night there’s bound to be awkward moments along the way. Just in the last few weeks we’ve seen a guy miss probably the most obvious sports question of all time, a man accuse Alex Trebek of wearing slave labor clothing and one of the oddest contestants in the show’s recent history.

Thanks to the power of YouTube we’re able to relive some of those magical/awkward-as-hell Jeopardy! moments and here are 10 of our favorites. Feel free to add your own “suck it, Trebek” at the end of each clip.

1. Threesome

If there’s an inner-circle of Jeopardy! groupies, Kara is most definitely their queen.

2. Bane Impression

A wise man never passes up the chance to do his Bane impression on national television.

3. Furry Pussy

We’ve all gotten a little confused about our Bond girls with sexually suggestive names before, right?

4. Contestant Faints

The power of Trebek’s mustache in its 1980s heyday was just too much for some people to handle.

5. Kebert Xela

I want to believe that Jarred’s only reason for even going on the show was to work in his Family Guy joke.

6. “Are you alright?”

You can almost feel Trebek’s disdain for this man.

7. Insensitive Alex Trebek

Hey, don’t bring up your dead pygmy goat if you don’t want Trebek to make fun of it.

8. Sean Connery

There is Ken Jennings, Arthur Chu and then there is this man.

9. Orphan Graveyard

And #239 on the list of things to never to bring up on a first date: orphan graveyards.

10. Donkey Punch

It might have been the wrong answer for Jeopardy!, but it was the correct answer for the internet.

“Wheel of Fortune” is described as “America's game,” but maybe America doesn't realize just how twisted and wacky the legendary game show is. Since “Wheel” will be celebrating its 6,000th episode next week, here's a list of weird-ass stuff you did not know about the world of Pat and Vanna. 

And yes, you are definitely reading that puzzle correctly. Kinky!

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So I suppose this is where I should bemoan the state of America in the wake of Jeopardy using a YOLO-based clue that referenced Urban Dictionary on last night’s episode, but, I mean … nah. Not gonna do that. If Jeopardy wants to try to get hip — or, at least, as hip as Jeopardy can get, considering this is a reference to a song from two years ago that everyone you know is already sick of — more power to them. All that I ask is that next time, in 2017, when they do a clue about getting turnt up, they release the behind-the-scenes footage of an underpaid production assistant explaining the whole thing to Trebek before the show. That’s the compromise, Jeopardy.

And besides, even if you are the type of person who views a YOLO clue on Jeopardy as a crystal-clear indicator that our once great society is crumbling into dust all around us, please allow me to point out that this is only like a five or a six on the Embarrassing Jeopardy Things Scale. Don’t believe me? Here, look:

GUYISM

That is a GIF of Alex Trebek doing the Gangnam Style dance during the Teen Tournament last year. This YOLO clue was nothing. NOTHING.

Source: Reddit

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Jeopardy host Alex Trebek did an interview with The Hollywood Reporter recenlHOLY HELL that is a cool picture up there. Look at Trebek, all “This longtime syndicated game show host just took home another Emmy and continues to dominate that glorified haircut Sajak in every way imaginable. Anyone? That’s right, Alex F*cking Trebek. Now take my picture.” I might get it blown-up to mural-size and hang it over the couch in my living room. So people know.

Anyway, as I was saying, Trebek did an interview with the Hollywood Reporter. The discussed a bunch of things, like his passion for unhealthy eating (a Milky Way and a Diet Coke for breakfast), eating lunch with Bob Barker, and his feelings about his job after all these years (“I like the show, I like the contestants and it pays well”). But mostly importantly, he talked about his plans for retirement. Or, more specifically, his lack thereof.

When it happens it will probably happen the same way it happened when I shaved my mustache in 2001: It will happen on a whim. I will decide at that moment, “This is it. Leave me an extra 30 seconds at the end of the program so I can say goodbye.”

First of all, I love that Alex Trebek remembers the year he shaved his mustache, and just casually drops it into conversation as though it’s a common fact that everyone knows. But more importantly, I love that he basically has the Keyser Soze retirement plan. One day you’ll see him out there rapping clues and having awkward chats with contestants, and then, with no warning, like that…

TUMBLR

I'll take street credibility for two-thousand Canadian dollars, Alex. 

And now, let's hail the arrival of a young MC named Trebek, who comes to us straight outta Sudbury, Ontario.

The “Jeopardy!” Battle of the Decades, featuring some of the greatest “Jeopardy!” players ever, comes to end this week. (Ken Jennings is a featured player in this clip.) Before it does, let's honor Alex's attempt at '90s rap. The venerable host was tasked with reading clues about classic rap songs, and he throws down rhymes from Cypress Hill and the Beastie Boys in the process. Wait until you hear him announce that a sabotage is coming. Just wait. 

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Apparently last week was Everybody But Me Gets To Interview Alex Trebek Week, because in addition to that THR article where he said he’s just gonna retire on a whim one day, he also granted the New Republic access for a lengthy, candid profile. It was illuminating. For example, did you know Alex Trebek likes to drink? Like, a lot? Because he does, apparently. The piece is littered with quotes/jokes like “I no longer drink when I drive. I pull over to the side of the road” and “Find out how much the brunch cost. I think it’s $350. I got my money’s worth, ‘cause I was the only one drinking at the table.” And that’s not all. He also, sometimes, drinks before heading to the studio to film Jeopardy.

It’s impersonations of Hollywood icons that Trebek really nails, though he doesn’t like to let on how much effort he puts into the routines. “I’ve noticed in the last few years, I don’t think I’m very good at them anymore,” he told the “Jeopardy!” audience during one time-out. “Probably a factor of too much alcohol.

“If I could learn to stop drinking the morning of taping, that would help a lot,” Trebek continued. “But you see, um, I have trouble sleeping. Yesterday, for instance, I woke up at two o’clock and was awake until 5:15 and then my alarm went off at 5:25. Today I woke up at 3:00 and was awake until 5:20. . . . I’m of the old school, which says, ‘It’s five o’clock somewhere, so why not now?!’ ”

And there’s this, where we learn that Alex enjoys quality television and used to be a freewheeling SoCal bachelor who liked to party, apparently.

Church friends comprise the core of the Trebeks’ social life, he says, a big shift from the bachelor years when he tooled around Holly-wood in a Bentley convertible. Mostly, he unwinds by watching television. “Breaking Bad” and “Deadwood” are recent favorites; the Lakers a constant.

Post-Time Machine Acquisition Priority List

1. Tool around Hollywood in a Bentley convertible with bachelor Trebek.
2. Kill Hitler.

But my favorite part of the profile was this quote about his decision to shave his mustache.

Fact: When Trebek shaved off his moustache in 2001, he did it in the middle of the day, himself, without warning the “Jeopardy!” producers. Renee was alarmed to come in and find him mid-shearing. He just felt like it, he says now. “And it got so much press, I couldn’t believe it. The wars with Iraq or whatever at that time, and people are all in a stew over my moustache. I have one response: Get a life.”

Updated Post-Time Machine Acquisition Priority List

1. Tool around Hollywood in a Bentley convertible with bachelor Trebek.
2. Kill Hitler.
3. Go back in time and make “People are all in a stew over my moustache. I have one response: Get a life” my high school yearbook quote

We have learned so much about Alex Trebek today.

Guinness World Records have finally tapped Alex Trebek to join the upper echelon of world record holders. Trebek now garners the record for “most game show episodes hosted by the same presenter” for being the face of Jeopardy! for over 6,829 episodes. Trebek has gone through numerous phases and transformations since taking on the show in 1984, but now he can add record holder to his list of accomplishments. From Deadline:

”It’s a quality program that I never have to apologize for when I meet people,” said Trebek about his tenure, while noting that the record isn’t a lifetime achievement, “It’s the kind of record that can be replaced by someone else in a few years. There might be another host that comes along who will out do me if he or she is on a program that turns out to be as popular as Jeopardy!”

I think that’s a bit modest of him to say. I have a hard time picturing someone else hosting the show at this point and I don’t really believe the market for game shows is as big as it once was in those days. It’s Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune holding steady while the rest sort of bob up and down in relevancy.

Congratulations, Trebek. Your mother would be proud. Just don’t celebrate too hard.

(via Guinness World Records)

The answer: “In 1891, this European said, ‘Perhaps my factories will put an end to war sooner than your Congresses’.” The question: who is, I dunno, John Lennon? The final question on last night’s Jeopardy! wasn’t easy, and none of the contestants got it right. But one did write down something cocky that left Alex Trebek completely…unfazed. He’s been through nearly 7,000 of these — nothing surprises him. If only the answer had been, “He’s known for his deadly herpes and explosive diarrhea.”

“Jeopardy!” always has supremely intelligent contestants, but that doesn't mean they're humorless. Over Alex Trebek's 30-year run as host of America's favorite quiz, we've seen a number of hilarious “Final Jeopardy!” responses that even caught the unflappable host off guard. In honor of Ari Voukydis, a recent “Jeopardy!” contestant who earned a huge laugh with his “Final Jeopardy!” response this week, let's take at 10 times we've seen some hilarious stuff come up on those little blue screens. Yes, Cliff Clavin does make a cameo appearance. 

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Alex Trebek is bigger than Jeopardy! at this point. In the hierarchy of game show hosts, it’s him and then Bob Barker and Pat Sajak a little further down. Maybe one day there will be room at that table of game show kings for Steve Harvey, but his mustache is going to need to put in at least another 20 years. Many of us only know Alex Trebek from his hosting spot on Jeopardy!, but he had been involved with nearly a dozen other game shows before he took over Jeopardy!’s hosting duties from Art Fleming in 1984.

Trebek turns 74 today, and from his recent series of interviews, it doesn’t look like he plans on stopping anytime soon. Here are ten facts that back up his status as a game show legend.

1.He nearly hosted Jeopardy! without wearing pants. Three of Jeopardy!’s contestants had planned to do the show without pants to relieve some stress — or at least that’s what the producers told Trebek. Trebek showed his lighter side walking onto the show’s set sans pants, even though none of the contestants had the guts to go through with the stunt.

2. He chased a thief down after he found her rummaging through his stuff. Three years ago, Alex Trebek was staying at a San Francisco hotel when he woke up to find a woman in his hotel room stealing his belongings. Trebek said that he put his underwear on and chased her down the hallway, snapping his Achilles tendon in the process. So not only did the world learn that one cannot steal from Alex Trebek and simply stroll away from the crime, but also that Trebek sleeps in the buff.

3. He prefers Eugene Levy’s impression of him over Will Ferrell’s. The best-known impression of Trebek is Ferrell’s punching bag to Sean Connery on SNL, but it’s not Trebek’s favorite. Trebek actually prefers the old SCTV parody done by Eugene Levy.

4. Alan Thicke gave Trebek his first job in America. To today’s youth he’s just a Wikipedia blip as the father of Robin Thicke, but to my generation he will always be Mike Seaver’s father — he also happens to be the guy who gave Trebek his American break. Alan Thicke was a producer in the 1970s on the game show Wizard of Odds and what can only be chalked up to as one Canadian helping another Canadian steal jobs from American game show hosts, recommended Trebek for the hosting gig.

5. You should be jealous of his work schedule. Trebek has it made in terms of his salary vs. work schedule. He films Jeopardy! just two days a week, coming in at 6:30 a.m. on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for the production meeting, then knocking out a few trivia questions, and wrapping the day by 6. At the end of the day he’s raking in $10 million a year for roughly 24 hours of work a week.

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Birthday boy Alex Trebek claims that when it comes to the impressions that various comedians have done of him over the years, Eugene Levy’s Alex Trebell on SCTV’s “Half Wits” was always his favorite. While it really wasn’t that good, it was probably better than Will Ferrell’s impression on Saturday Night Live’s ridiculous “Celebrity Jeopardy!” sketches, because that wasn’t really an impression at all. Truth be told, not many of the performances on that wonderful recurring bit actually qualified for so-called “good” impression status, because they were basically all cartoon characters.

Some of the impressions were pretty good, while others were really awful. The thing about the really awful ones, though, is that some ended up taking on lives of their own and becoming better than actual impressions, because they were so absurd that we couldn’t stop quoting them. That is, of course, how “Celebrity Jeopardy!” became such a huge hit, especially since Norm MacDonald was so wonderful as Burt Reynolds in the beginning.

I’ve met Burt, even shook his hand as he told me a story about how a woman once thanked him “for all of the orgasms,” and while MacDonald’s impression wasn’t spot-on, it wasn’t bad. The rest of these impressions, handpicked from the 14 sketches that I watched earlier today (FOR SCIENCE!), weren’t necessarily as good. In all, “Celebrity Jeopardy!” parodied 30 celebrities – 31 if you count Trebek, but I don’t – and like a lot of the show’s efforts, the cast and writers probably could have tried a little harder, despite the fact that people remember these clips with such fondness.

10) Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery

“My God, man! How can you say that Connery was one of the worst?!?! This is outrageous, I can’t believe that my eyes have read such blasphemy!” Look, we all love the cartoon character that Hammond’s Connery turned into, but it wasn’t a very good impression. Like his Bill Clinton and John Travolta, among others, Hammond took basic attributes of the characters and then gave them new life. That’s not saying he was bad, but Hammond even admitted in “Live from New York” that once Connery became the sketch’s main guy, he was aiming for the ridiculous. We’re lucky that was the case, because as you can see in the first sketch, “accurate” Connery would have gotten old.

9) Tom Hanks as Tom Hanks

Sure, we all love Hanks for who he really is, and if you don’t then you should just go back to your home in the communist country of Dicksylvania, but “Celebrity Jeopardy!” was supposed to be about making fun of other famous people. Celebrity self-awareness had no business being injected into this otherwise charming celebration of stars with their heads up their own asses.

8) Jimmy Fallon as Nic Cage

Fallon’s Nic Cage impression is perhaps better than Andy Samberg’s cartoonish parody, but I believe that no man has the ability to deliver a better caricature of Cage than Cage himself. He is the Alpha and Omega of the craziness that breeds within his own DNA.

7) Lucy Liu as Catherine Zeta-Jones

If I was writing out a report card for Liu’s performance, I guess she’d get a C for being average. But by the time that this sketch aired in Season 26 in 2000, the whole routine was about the animosity between Trebek and Connery, so between that and Fallon’s accurate Robin Williams impression, I don’t think anyone ever really remembered that Liu was in this one.

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All this Jeopardy! talk today eventually left me in a YouTube pit of random game show clips that I couldn’t stop watching, because there’s nothing better than a good, old blooper. Jeopardy! bloopers have always been my favorite – with all due respect to my new friends at Family Feud – as any man of average intelligence should take great comfort in watching so-called geniuses fail at answering questions that they’re supposed to know. It’s even better when the contestants are really cocky about it and their mistakes are as simple as not phrasing their answers in the form of a question. Oh Jeopardy!, your quirky rules can be so maddening.

Some of these can be considered bloopers, while others might simply be people serving up wrong answers, but they’re all quite enjoyable, especially when they involve teenagers using profanity. There’s just something about watching teen prodigies swear that makes Alex Trebek’s birthday seem all that more special.

Sometimes the Pressure is Just Too Much

There are a lot of conspiracy theorists out there who think that this guy’s faint was all a ploy to give him extra time to think up his answer. I normally like to give a random stranger from a long time ago the benefit of the doubt, but I also love stoking the fires of controversy. This dude cheated, you guys.

That Kid Said “F*ck”

I bet this teen was grounded for a long, long time for cursing on national TV, and I hope that he was forced to miss his prom night so he couldn’t be there to be crowned King.

“Who Ice T?”

For what it’s worth, I would pay at least $1,000 to see Gary Busey play Ice T. That would probably be the worst biopic ever produced, but watching Busey rap would be so incredible.

Alex Trebek Doesn’t Even Know His First Show

If I were Trebek, I’d probably be trying to forget something as stupid as The Wizard of Odds, too. Also, I’d never ever shave my mustache, and I’d demand that the government lock me in prison should I ever try.

Ken Jennings has a Dirty Mind

I still don’t understand how this wasn’t later ruled a correct answer.

The Donkey Punch Makes an Appearance

I’d like to take back that $1,000 that I pledged toward an Ice T biopic starring Gary Busey so I can instead pledge it toward having Trebek actually explain to a live studio and TV audience what a donkey punch is. That would be TV Hall of Fame material.

This Lady Likes to Party

I bet a lot of the show’s male viewers were like, “I’ll show you what a threesome is” as they pulled up PornHub and went about their sad evening routines.

The Family Guy Moment

Hey, if your chances are dead and you’ve spent an entire show looking like a chump, there are very few things that you can do. One of them is to give a shoutout to a Family Guy joke so that people will always mention you any time that they write about Jeopardy!’s funniest moments.

Speaking of PornHub

Young lady, you have not only sullied the good names of Teen Jeopardy! and whatever your family’s last name is, but also the Cats & Dogs movie franchise. You need to think more about how you represent yourself and films with corny premises.

This Guy Doesn’t Get it

This might seem like a harmless mistake on an $800 question after he just cleaned out the higher value questions, but this guy would go on to lose in Final Jeopardy! by something like $2. We should be thankful that this guy didn’t go on a murdering spree while shouting, “Answer in the form of a question!”

Point and Laugh at the Stupid Computer!

Sure, Watson is a super computer that is smarter than almost any man and will eventually enslave the entire human race, and yeah, Watson won this game of Jeopardy!. But what kind of Grade A idiot confuses Toronto with Chicago? What an A-hole that stupid computer is. (Please don’t use my body for batteries, Mr. Watson.)

Talk About a Cocky Jackass

This guy Cliff absolutely steamrolled the competition on an older episode of Jeopardy!, but then he really let the success get to his head before he could close it out. Not only did he bet the farm on the final answer and not know it, but he gave one of the most ridiculous answers in the show’s history after he was busted for trying to cheat off the woman next to him. What a jerk.

Leonard Cooper’s Big Win

It’s not a blooper, because it’s Leonard’s walk-off win. Still the greatest moment in Jeopardy! history.

“To Tell the Truth,” one of the greatest television game shows with a timeless conceit, is purportedly coming back to air. Fremantle is heading up a new primetime version of the series that puts “an update of the familiar format with a surprising new twist that adds action and suspense and raises the stakes.”

I'm all for it! “To Tell the Truth” is — with the possible exception of “What's My Line?” — the best panel game in TV history: Four celebrities interrogate three contestants who all claim to be the same person, and then the celebrities vote on which candidate is telling the truth. It's the show that's most responsible for putting Kitty Carlisle and Peggy Cass into our cultural lexicon, and it's what Eminem is referencing when he famously asked, “Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?” Gordon Elliott and Alex Trebek hosted an early '90s version, and John O'Hurley helmed an underrated update in the early 2000s featuring regular guests Meshach Taylor and Paula Poundstone.

To commemorate the show's return to air, here are five amazing clips from different versions of the series. 

1. Catch Him If You Can

You may know “To Tell the Truth” from the opening moments of Steven Spielberg's film “Catch Me If You Can” where famous con-man Frank Abagnale, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, sees if he can fool the panel. That was based on an actual 1977 episode where the real Abagnale successfully duped all four celebrities, including a thunderstruck Peggy Cass. 

2. That's not Beef Stroganoff

Imagine suddenly realizing you're eating dog food. That's what happened in this classic clip. You've never seen more dainty spitting than when Carlisle attempts to move the dog food from her mouth into a napkin. 

3. Kitty Carlisle's son and Joe Garagiola's son hoodwink the panel.

It's not terribly rare that the contestants successfully trick the panel. But it's definitely rare when two of the phony players are actually the disguised sons of the panel. Watch as Kitty Carlisle and Joe Garagiola realize their next of kin are sitting in front of them.

4. Oh yeah, that time a notorious serial killer was a contestant

Ed Edwards killed as many as 100 people before he died in 2011, but the panel didn't know that when Edwards was a contestant on “To Tell the Truth.” Edwards posed as a reformed man who'd been “questioned about a double murder,” but he was never revealed for what he really was: a complete sociopath and killer. 

5. That time Bobby Riggs introduced himself as a male chauvinist and his wife revealed herself.

Tennis legend and onetime chauvinist pig Bobby Riggs introduced his wife and two impostors as contestants on “To Tell the Truth.” Look at his vaudevillian flair! Classic Bobby. One of the contestants, hilariously, looks like Billie Jean King. (Did you know King and Riggs became friends and stayed close until the end of his life? Compassion wins!)

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The Teen Tournament is the off-brand cereal to normal Jeopardy!‘s Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but the week-long event, which mercifully ended on Friday, came to an exiting conclusion. After correctly answering the rare Final Jeopardy question that didn’t make me scratch my head like an oaf in a Looney Tunes cartoon, dueling 17 year olds Jeff Xie and Alan Koolik both had $54,200.

“I knew that I had to get the Final Jeopardy! clue right, and when Alan also gave the correct answer, my jaw dropped because I knew we were tied,” said Jeff Xie. “When the tiebreaker category – the Civil War – was announced, I was excited because history is a strength of mine. When I saw ‘Shiloh,’ I knew the answer, and the rest, quite fittingly, was history.” (Via)

“Quite fittingly.” BRING BACK LEONARD.

Sony TV

Alex Trebek”s mustache is making a “Jeopardy!” comeback
Trebek”s distinctive mustache hasn”t been seen since 2001. It”ll return for the new season kicking off on Monday.

Report: A doctor in Joan Rivers” entourage performed a surprise biopsy on her
The NY Daily News reports that such a procedure shouldn”t have been performed outside a hospital. The biopsy, a source tells the Daily News, “caused Rivers' vocal chords to seize – a condition doctors call a laryngospasm – cutting off her air supply.” PLUS: Firefighters arrived at the clinic within six minutes.

Rumor: “SNL”s” 40th season will kick off with Bill Murray followed by Sarah Silverman and Chris Pratt
Although nothing is official, those three names surfaced yesterday on several NBC affiliates.

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“Glee” is bringing back 4 original cast members
Jenna Ushkowitz, Jayma Mays, Mark Salling and Dianna Agron will all appear in the final season.

MTV is extending its partnership with Trojan condoms
A new ad campaign will promote the “co-zone,” short for “condom zone.”

Anti-Al Franken Super Pac ad uses his “SNL” Stuart Smalley character against him in Minnesota senate race
Check out the “Not Funny Franken” commercial.

Bill Hader recalls working at the Playboy Channel
Before “SNL,” Hader was a production assistant on a show called “Night Calls,” as he recounts to Jimmy Kimmel. PLUS: Hader reenacts the Casey Kasem sketch that “SNL” cut.

CNN hires President Obama”s former White House press secretary
Jay Carney, a former Washington Bureau Chief for Time Magazine, will return to his journalism roots as a political commentator for CNN.

“Sons of Anarchy”s” Kurt Sutter explains the final season premiere
“It felt a little too obvious,” he says of not showing a certain scene. PLUS: More on the season premiere twists, about that brutal scene, and why a Queen montage was used.

Watch PBS” Robin Williams special
The one-hour “Pioneers of Television” special is now online.

“The Wire”s” Dominic West and Idris Elba are reuniting for “Finding Nemo” sequel
Their work on “Finding Dory” marks the first time the pair has worked together since the HBO series.

Jimmy Fallon creates a Tinder profile for Britney Spears
Check out the pros and cons of dating Britney.

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Alex Trebek delivered one of the best quotes of this (or any) year back in May when he said this about his decision to shave off his iconic mustache: “It got so much press, I couldn’t believe it. The wars with Iraq or whatever at that time, and people are all in a stew over my mustache. I have one response: Get a life.” Well, fellow no-life-havers, get ready to get all in a stew again, because THE MUSTACHE IS BACK.

From People’s Stylewatch:

“In 2001, I shaved my mustache on a whim,” he tells PEOPLE exclusively. “This year I had a two-and-a-half-month period where we were not taping a show, so I grew it back on another whim. I like to keep my life simple.”

That’s right, people. After almost 15 years, Alex Trebek will bring the mustache back for the show’s 31st season, which debuts Monday, September 15. Our long national nightmare is over. Here, look. PROOF.

jeopardy

And apparently I’m not the only one in a stew either, because Jeopardy put together this video of notable past contestants discussing Trebek’s lip caterpillar, which they very sneakily uploaded to YouTube on Sunday, two full days before he announced its official return. I see you, Jeopardy.

Things get pretty awkward on Jeopardy when Alex Trebek interviews contestants. It generally follows this sequence:

1) Alex teases a story
2) Contestant spends 30 seconds talking about the time he got stung by a bee at 5th grade camp
3) Alex makes a witty response like, “Did you beehive yourself the rest of the time?”
4) Audience laughs
5) Rinse-repeat

It’s been like that for as long as I can remember. During tonight’s episode, a physics student named Dan Tran told a story about the time he went to France for a student trip.

I’ve transcribed it for you because WHAT IS DAN TALKING ABOUT?!

“So when I was a senior in high school—I took French in high school—we went on an exchange trip and we arrived incredibly jet-lagged, no cappuccino could really save us in that regard. And uh, during an open air tour bus tour in Paris, I looked up and said to my friend ‘hey, you know, the moon looks pretty bright tonight/today’ and um, they just turned to me like ‘Dan, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.’

‘And I was like, no guys it’s the sun.’ But um, but then you know it turned out it was actually the sun and not the moon and I still confuse it nowadays.”

Dan finished the game as co-champ and will return tomorrow. He’s likely to tell a story about the time he confused a banana and a penis.